The Relay for Life

Well we made it through the Relay for Life The Schriver gals (the girls and I) ended up raising 561.00 thank you all who contributed it was such an honor to give back to an organization that helped us and you see is making a difference. The event itself was harder emotionally then I would have imagined at one point my youngest came to me and said "I saw daddy's luminary I got a picture" and it said In the MEMORY of Gary Schriver. I know it has been 10 months but it still seems so unreal that there is an In the memory of in front of his name. Some days it seems like the last ten months has been a horrible dream and when I wake up "fat daddy" (the girls told him at the end they wanted fat daddy back ie healthy) will be there bringing me pop tarts in bed with naughty things written on them in food coloring. They did a silent lap in remembrance of the ones who lost their battle last night that about killed me, I think I am still just not thinking too much about it so I can manage daily life but during that few minute wow that was hard. I think the girls and I both are still at the lets not think about it so we can breathe stage and not at the remembering stage yet. There was some very special quiet times had especially the girls with Gary's grandparents. It is neat that they can share their hurt with them. Overall it was a good experience lots of super nice folks and fun costumes and activities. I highly recommend this fun time for a very worthy cause. Below are a few pics from our time.. Thank you again for walking with us..

to cassie's defense the flash on the camera was SUPER bright :)

This past week we celebrated the first birthday of Gary's in heaven. It was a bittersweet day. We went to my church and on the back porch of the church we had a balloon release in Gary's honor. All the family and even a close friend was their. It was nice to do SOMETHING in honor of the day that changed all our lives the day Gary came into this world. I wont lie some tears were shed but I think more than anything else there was healing. After the balloon release we went to the cemetery and visited Gary's grave and then the girls and I ate dinner with Gary's parents. I am glad to say we only have a few more "FIRSTS" to get through. Not that it will all magically get better after we go through the firsts but the firsts have been so very difficult.Below are a few pictures of the day.