Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Stressing out BIG time

I have to admit I am stressing so much today. It is hard enough to be there for everyone who needs encouraged, we call it "talked off the ledge". Be there to help the kids with their schooling maintain a home and feed people(if it wasn't for my mother I shutter to think what condition my house would be in) sort girl scout cookies and do ten million other things that go into my day. Today Gary had a call from his boss suggesting that he go on short term disability or take family medical leave. Disability would lower is income by half and family medical leave would mean no income at all. I have no real job skills to speak of. I have been a mom for 13 years I could go out and kill myself 80 hours a week and still not come close to the salary Gary makes. I guess the stress comes from my security if we have no money I cant feed my children and I cant pay our mortgage and keep our lights on. I guess this is a lesson about trusting God for everything and I mean everything. I have no reason to doubt God's provision His grace has poured out on us so much but I am really scared how are we going to do this how are we going to make it thru. Gary needs the work break to concentrate on healing I know leave will be the best and right thing for him and us but I don't know how we will pay our mortgage. I guess we have given God another chance to work a miracle.

Lord help me to learn to trust you completely and totally and know that you see when a sparrow falls you will see our need and meet it. Thank You Jehovah Jirah

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