Camp Kessem and Forward

Last week the girls got to spend a whole week at a special camp for kids who have a parent who has or has died from cancer. From the moment they got there they were showered with attention counselors were their friends and all the counselors attention was on them they ate that up as those of you who know my social butterflies can imagine. Merry went to set up her bed and when she got back all the counselor could do was shake her head while Merry talked because she was talking so fast the counselor couldn't get a word in edge wise. I laughed and told the director I think she is settling in fine. Annie came home and told me that the counselors just listened to her and it changed her life, Cassie was thrilled she found and energetic girl to be her friend and they had fun "exploring" together, God love their counselors lol. I am so thrilled that they got that time to be away from daddy's sickness and just be fun energetic loud kids again. I actually found myself jealous of them a little while they were gone because the battle continued to rage on and Gary had quit a few bad days and sick days but we did have some very special alone time and we watched lots of faith filled movies and just enjoyed each other. We also wen out every night and got a coke Icee.
I can only imagine how hard this battle is on Gary he is such a trooper but he is feeling really bad and even the doctor commented his condition has substantially deteriorated ( not something you want the doctor to say ). It is so hard to see him go thru this battle I love him so much if I could donate a kidney or give blood or anything to make him better I would in a heart beat but I cant and it feels so helpless. The kids are having a rough time of it too they don't know what to do or how to be. They are angry and sad but they aren't sure who at so it has been coming out on me and their sisters. This morning they found out that we have to go back to Tampa this week for the second time in two weeks and they all got sad and so upset that we were leaving them again. I try to tell them it is not my choice but all they know is we are leaving them again!! The older two roll with the punches in that area pretty well but Merry my youngest she has so much anger over the cancer thing in her that she just does not know what to do and she ends up lashing out at everyone around her. It is getting so hard for our little family we feel like we are at mile 19 of a marathon so exhausted from what we have all ready done and we have SO much farther to go and we just don't know if we can do it. Will we all see the finish line or will I carry thru with my threat to drive off the buckman bridge with all of them in the car (dont judge me :) you know when you have had all your kids fighting after an all ready long day you have threatened such things ). Life is really hard right now for this family please pray for these sweet girls they so need grace and peace all they can see is no matter how hard they pray their daddy is slowly slipping away from them and they just dont know what to do. We all need a strength boost so we can stand firm in faith with Gary for healing and not dwell on what we see. Thank you for your continued support of this family we are so grateful for the love and care that we have recieved we are eternally grateful.