Wow I am so so so glad this week is over. Gary has had a marked decline in health and for the first time he told me that he has had moments where he has prayed God will take him home. To hear him say that just broke my heart this week. He has always been such a fighter but this week his fight is leaving. He has gotten to the point where he needs help with everything from medications to going to the bathroom and that just kills him inside. This big strong man that spent a life time helping others and being strong for others cant even go to the bathroom in the bathroom anymore and it is ripping his insides worse then the cancer is. I am not sure what the future will hold for my big man but I do know that he is in Gods hands but it is so hard to leave him there.
Finances continue to be the second biggest stressor in my life. I remember reading the biography of George Meuller and telling God wow wouldn't it be awesome to have the kind of faith that he had, I just didn't know that God would take that as a challenge. I get so angry with myself because mornings like this morning when I noticed I have 12 dollars in my checking account and an empty gas tank and I found out that our disability check would be 6 days latter than I thought.I am still not sure how I am going to get gas or any other necessities but I WAS able to pay my mortgage thanks to God laying it on the heart of a saint. I have seen God provide in ways that surprise me in such amazing ways but I still freak out when I come against a financial issues you would think I would learn by now.
Please continue to be in prayer for this family with so much going on and so much threatening to happen we are all on edge and all though we are desperately trying to sit back in Gods hands and trust him with the details it is so difficult so much unknown so much fear for tomorrow. Thank you all for walking with us through this horrible shadowland we are grateful for all that has come along side of us.