Fighting the urge to retreat inward this holiday season

The Sunday before Thanksgiving we have not made plans on where to go. We originally were going to head to Atlanta to my sisters house and take part in all the cool Christmas festivities up there but finances are not letting us do that
: ( 
Even if we went up there I am struggling with wanting to grab my little family and my sweet man and retreat into solitude for the next couple of weeks. I know that Thanksgiving is for all your family but I only worry about loosing Gary and I dont want to share him with anyone. I get mad at myself for thinking like this because it is rooted in the fear of only having a couple of Thanksgivings left with him not believing that God will heal him and it is killing me.
My girls are showing the burden of this as well I got my middle daughters list to santa (she dosent really still believe but she thinks why spoil a good thing :) and at the end it had a sincere apology for being bad and asked santa to forgive her because it has been a really tough year. Oh man how am I going to get thru this season, I want to make sure that the kids have peaceful fun Christmas but so many medical bills are coming due and so much is breaking in our home that there isnt a whole bunch of money left, but memories are what I am after not gifts.
Dear Most Awsome God of Peace not confusion
I am an emotional skitzo and need your help Lord to have a right mind and heart as I enter the season that I love so much. Help us Lord to build new memories and new traditions this year, ones we can enjoy even when Daddy dosent have cancer. And Happy almost Birthday Jesus :)